I do not deserve this

Last week Redtone's CEO held a press night at One World Hotel, to officially lauch his new television network on subscription based, called DETV, which its broadband technology is first introduced in Malaysia.

Basically press night is a social event that a company's boss invite all the media to join them for a launching event, got dinner served and many fab. prize to win.

My photographer asked me to join him, so be it, let's go.

That night, I have see another picture yet again.
It's about the classification of human.

I saw the hotel waiter and waitress being scolded by their captain for like 1000times when I work as a video crew lastime.
It's a pretty ordinary image for me really.

But on that day,
it was my first time seated on the dining chair and serve with food on the dining table.

I feel uncomfortable really.
I think to myself.
What is the difference between me and the waiter?

Both of us are human, both of us are men.
What makes me sit here and what makes him stand there?
What makes me enjoy the food and what makes him serve the food for me?

Do I deserve this?
No, I do not.

Which is why,
everytime he pour the water and wine for me,
I say 'Thank you'.
Deep inside my heart I say THANK YOU.

everytime he change my plate and bowl I say 'Thank you'.
deep inside my heart I say 'THANK YOU'.

I really feel uneasy.

I saw a Chinese man who shouted at the waiter and ask him 'Go away, go now, go serve the wine for the people at that table, go now!'

Then when the waiter leave,
he laugh at the waiter and make jokes of the waiter with his friend.

WTF?
It was so embarrassing man.
Shame on him,
he definitely bring shame to the Chinese people.

HE YELL AT THE WAITER LIKE YELLING AT THE DOG.

This I wil always remember.
After I finish my study in UK,
I have learned that people should have identity equality, eventhough in reality this is not possible.

But in UK,
they tends to make it as its best as they could.

Atleast the garbage man is a white man,
and people respect this job.

As a student that was once study in oversea,
I knew how hard for one to live in a brand new environment by themselves.

Eventhough my English is sufficient enough to communicate with UK people.
Eventhough I didnt face racist issue out there.

But,
The way people talk to you,
the way people look at you.

~The Fear~ I cannot describe.

Why is this Chinese fella want to humilate the waiter?
I really cannot stand it, I really cannot make myself to see this happen.

It was a heartbreaking moment really.
I have no appetite at all that night.

The incident strike my feeling strongly.

Since then,
I tell myself,
I do not deserve to sit at the dining chair really.

It was my parents who give me good education,
so that I have found a job,
and being invited to the press night.

In fact,
I didnt do anything that I can feel proud of myself,
that makes me sit at that dining chair.

And ofcourse the waiter didnt do anything that he should feel ashame of himself,
that makes him stand behind my dining chair and serve me food.

I sit there because I am a Malaysian who is well-educated.
He stand behind me because he is a foreign labour.

That's simple.
Just that's simple.

I do not deserve it,
I simply do not deserve this.

Sitting on that dining chair,
makes me fear.

p/s: my opinion in this incident doesnt applicable in many other places like fast food restaurant, cafe and bla bla bla.....

some of our bloody Malaysian waiter and waitress did gave me some fucked up service and still dare to take service charge in my bill.

These people do not even respect to their own job,
what is the point of respecting them?